okay, i made you wait long enough.
WE HAVE BABIES! BOY BABIES! that’s right, i used a plural noun. the ninos that were supposed to give us at least a month’s break between births decided to arrive within 36 hours of each other. coincidence or conspiracy? we’ll have to wait a couple of years to ask. and by then, they’ll probably have forgotten.
young masters blue & bitty are now happily at home with their moms (and their dads, who are taking paternity leave). baby blue has clean features and big, watchful eyes. bitty has a manly nose and a shock of black hair. and they are both so, so tiny and cute. i used to think babies were all kind of the same, but these guys are unmistakable. thank you, God, for ensuring that there will be no “swapped at birth” miniseries arising from this communal experiment.
it’s amazing how the oakie house seems to have expanded to accommodate the inconsanity. i think it helps that blue, jane, and i are all essentially on semi-bed rest. that leaves a lot of rooms for the husbands and two sets of grandparents to rattle around in. also, can i just say that we have the best husbands in the world? meals, back-rubs, toddler triage — you name it, they do it. blue’s husband dave was even commended by several of the hospital staff as the most supportive and birthing-involved husband they had ever seen in action.
thankfully, nearness has been a good gift — rather than a rub. jane, blue, babies and i often hang out in one family’s bed, talking, praying, trading secrets about how to get a baby to take a supplemental bottle. and superbowl sunday was great — a feastly evening of steaks, brownies, and babies in the living room. these are sweet times, elongated by virtue of the fact that it will take us each ten seconds (rather than 30 mins) to trundle home to our own warm beds.
the downsides? nothing stays clean. anything you put in the living room may well be lost/hidden by the dog before you have a chance to retrieve it. the amount of divvy-able public space has dwindled. you have to snag a bowl/glass when you see one, because they’re usually all in the dishwasher, getting a steam bath before the next meal for ten.
and poor lil l. call it big sister-itis or death-by-new-sibling — either way, she’s having a rough month, and, like adults/children around the world, she’s reverted to showy, fawning, and desperate behaviors. sometimes i wake up in the morning confused: is that a baby’s cry, or lil l’s? my respect for blue & dave has just about septupled: the fact that they can care for their infant and attend patiently to their unhappy toddler is staggering. even when i’m about to lose it from lil l’s crying, blue & dave remain gentle.
which brings me back to the two biggest lessons of life together: don’t judge, unless you’d like to be judged, and, when you live with good friends, you’ll be amazed at what they teach you just by their everyday habits and decisions.
i’ve always teased ben, my conscientious (read: anal-retentive?) husband, that my greatest fear in parenting together is that he’ll resort to uniforms and whistles. last night in bed, as we were talking about what we’ve learned from watching blue & dave, ben turned to me, looked me deeply in the eyes, and said:
“you know, you’re right. if i hadn’t seen them, i probably would have gone von trapp.”
thank you, oakies, for sparing us from this fate.
9 Comments
February 7, 2008 at 8:13 pm
oh, I love this. And I love Captain Ben too.
February 7, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Alas, this is why we need both mamas and papas in the home–they each bring something to parenting that is needed by the child, and often something that the other parent finds more difficult to supply. I wouldn’t freak out about going a bit von trap–it might actually be good for the kiddos
But AMEN to the not judging thing 10x over!!!
February 8, 2008 at 1:21 am
Ben in trachten. It makes me giggle.
February 8, 2008 at 1:25 am
Also I wish to add I don’t know how parents do it. I like children just fine. In fact, I’m quite the fan of the crumb crusher crowd, but the thought of 24/7 exposure for ever so many years and then the added years of concern even once they leave the home(”76 years!” cries my grandmother. “You worry about them every day of your life!” (My 76-year old father would like to deny it , but he knows it’s true.) makes me queasy.
February 8, 2008 at 2:22 am
I’d look hot in Trachten.
February 8, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Then by all means don’t let me stop you.
http://www.mydirndl.com/
February 8, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I appreciate (read: love) Ben’s reference to the Von Trapp Family!
February 9, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Having spent a year with Ben in Germany, I’ve seen him in a lot of interesting outfits, but nothing like Capitain VonTrapp and never a Trachte. Congratulations to everyone in your home!
February 11, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Some how it escaped my attention that the babies were born so close together. I knew they were close, but 36 hours of each other. That is really sweet that all Jane, blue and you can be in one bed hanging out… very cool. Who gets to experience that these days?