today, oakie house move-in prep began in earnest. we’ve mapped out each family’s move-in schedule, we’re beginning to talk utilities, and we’ve broached the issue of a common purse for shared groceries/meals. we’re also getting serious about looking for an extra fridge (preferably free & functioning, courtesy of craigslist) to put in the basement, as well a big table for dining/doing on the front porch.
most importantly, we’ve begun to plan our first oakie house fete: a baby shower for JJB, who is preggers with young master bitty b. yay! bitty b is due in february; blue & dave’s babyblue is due in january. as The Landlord said: “come march, this house will be rockin!”
ohhh, here comes the kirbs. i just saw the furry flare of his black tail. he’s patroling the room, and now he’s jumped up to bed down with me on the duvet. what a rich, sweet purr. i’ll miss him.
as you might imagine, we’ve had a range of reactions to our decision to live together: some people are thrilled (usually, these are the folks who ask if we have an extra bedroom/carriage house for their brood), some are confused, and some are sincerely concerned. a very good friend who knows all us oakies stated frankly: “i’m terrified for you all!” his main concern was that we have no idea what we’re getting into — especially when it comes to other people’s babies crying all night long. he’s concerned for the stability of our friendships and, perhaps, our marriages.
on one hand, he’s right: this venture required a measure of the crazy naivete that accompanies love, and like many a romance, it could blow up painfully. but i don’t think we’ve been foolhardy about making this commitment to each other. from our first conversations, we’ve tried to be upfront about the fact that when we live together, our friendships will become less comfortable and more functional. there will be some hard things: loss of privacy, underfoot inconveniences, public confrontations — as in marriage — with some of the most private and shameful secrets of our inner lives.
but i really believe that there will be good things, too: life together, children together, snowstorms and rainstorms and hurricanes together. sharing each other’s burdens, admiring each other’s marriages, growing close in ways that we couldn’t have when we lived even just five miles apart — not to mention the satisfaction of undertaking some disciplines of simplicity that may be easier in community (sharing cars, gardens, food, etc).
i have to admit that i have been one of the biggest oakie house cheerleaders, in large part because i’m very lonely with Ben in school — and also because i have been completely befuddled and frightened by the East Coast custom of raising children alone. i can’t remember a moment of my Midwestern childhood that was not either saturated or significantly touched by the love of a grandparent, a cousin, an uncle or aunt. and i know my parents relied heavily on our extended family to vouchsafe their own sanity. if the oakie house works out, hopefully it will be a good place for Ben and i to continue thinking and praying about starting a family. We’ll see.
In the meantime, I am trying to catalogue all the behaviors that incensed my former roommates, in hopes that i can try to curb them before they start peeving all the oakies. the short list includes laughing too loud, talking too loud, and, come to think of it, other general noise violations. hm. maybe i should invest in a muzzle.
1 Comment
October 17, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Wow, cool. Our very own blog. L, I think it’s great.